yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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