Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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