porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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