For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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