I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize