I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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