He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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