So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
