and my herpes radar will keep us safe
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
