do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
