stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
