I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
