she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
