:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
