Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
