Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
