Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The air was thick with penises
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
