Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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