no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
