I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
