I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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