I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
