oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
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