dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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