There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
