Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Pants are for mortals
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
