he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize