Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
