what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I need moral support for this bender
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
