Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
