I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
