"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
