I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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