I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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