Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
