At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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