What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
