Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
