dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
