best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
