New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
