Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
our cab driver is having phone sex.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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