ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
