Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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