Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
