im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
