I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
