HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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