dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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