i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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