just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Randomize
