just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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