I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I will be naked everywhere
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
