speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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