I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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