she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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