Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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