so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
