I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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