I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
