Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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