She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
