but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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