one two three fourrrrnication!
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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