Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he puts the penis in happiness.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
