you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
