How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
