i just wanna soil my oats bro
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
