she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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